Ah, yes, according to ALL OF THIS MONEY you definitely, for sure, have bone spurs.
Ah, yes, according to ALL OF THIS MONEY you definitely, for sure, have bone spurs. AlexRaths/Getty Images

Does anyone know what happened while we were gone? Look, I know it was pretty much just Slog AM-less Monday and Tuesday but it felt like an eternity since we were together. In that time, some serious stuff went down, I'm sure of it. But, I'm at a loss. All I know is that Trump told a 7-year-old her belief (or disbelief) in Santa was marginal and replaced Secretary of Defense James Mattis two months early. Also the government is sad. Oh! And Kevin Spacey should either fire his publicist or hire a publicist: this is not the media stunt you should pull when the world learns you're headed to trial for sexual assault. Let me know if I missed anything else of note. Besides this, unfortunately, of course.

Gentrification threatens SeaTac: South Seattle is a haven of diversity. SeaTac, especially, is home to a thriving Somali community. Almost 50 Somali businesses are located in the Bakaro Mall. The land the shopping center sits on, located right next to the Tukwila Boulevard light rail station, was just sold for a $15.5 million deal. It would knock down the mall, erect affordable units, a movie theater, a fitness center, and, likely, displace the Somali community. The vote on the deal, additionally, came just days after SeaTac council member Amina Ahmed, a Somali American, was killed in a car crashed.

High tides and maybe some snow: This weather report reads like some kind of off-brand Free Will Astrology. The full (or new, someone ask an astrologer) moon during the last, waning days of 2018 will inspire royally high tides. These "king tides" will reach around 12 to 13 feet in the mornings. Oh, also maybe some snow. But not good snow. Slushy snow. Around Everett and Hood Canal, so don't hold your breath, Seattle.

See, I'd never lie to you: Meanwhile, it's dry as a bone in California. You don't care about that. I do because I'm stuck here in California. It's not all bad. But it's not "great."


The great train tools robbery: Speaking of Everett—quite the day for Everett news, I know—a thief broke into a BNSF Railway employee's car and stole $5,000 worth of tools. That seems like, perhaps, a smidge too many tools. But, who am I to judge? Anyway, the thief careened through a rail yard, got stuck, and stopped train traffic for hours.

The airport never rests: Neither does this KING5 reporter. I'd be grumpy too, Photog Jim.


Did you know Thai Siam hast free Christmas dinner? It's a 31-year-old tradition for the Ballard restaurant and you've been sleeping on it all this time? Well, at least pencil it in for next year.

Let's uh, let's just run the military like a business too. Fuck it: Having a Big, Successful, Never-Been-Bankrupt Businessman run the country has been working so well for us all that we should have one run the world's largest and most powerful army. That's what we need. Trump announced that Secretary of Defense Jim Mattis' replacement will be Pat Shanahan who is a real, bonafide businessman and former chair of the University of Washington board of regents (go dawgs?). He also helmed Boeing for over 30 years. He's never tasted combat or even been close to being in the military. He did serve as deputy secretary of defense for a year. If we all die in nuclear fallout, I don't way to be "that guy," but know that I saw it coming.

Delta flight to Seattle makes emergency landing: It was headed from Beijing to Seattle when the engine started acting up—never a good sign. The plane made an emergency landing on a 3 by 4 mile island in Alaska. They waited on the island for 12 hours for another plane to pick them up. It's like the plot of Come From Away but less extreme.

The Lakers straight handled the Warriors last night: I know very little about basketball but I do know that the Golden State Warriors have won three national titles in four years and are expected to win a fourth. But, the Los Angeles Lakers, who haven't been a very consistent team despite having LeBron James on the squad, absolutely decimated them 127 to 101. Did I watch the game? No. Did I see some tweets on Twitter? Yes. According to those, LeBron didn't even play that much. Also according to those, LeBron is actually hurt.

Rest easy, King James: Someone who is a doctor tell me how bad this is.


A good video I saw from the game from one of those aforementioned tweets:


Live a plane crash with this New York Times story: You can see just what the pilots on the downed-flight in Indonesia went through.

The podiatrist who got Trump out of the war: A Queens podiatrist, a tenant of Trump's father, diagnosed Trump with bone spurs to get him out of the Vietnam War. According to the podiatrist's daughters (the guy, himself, is dead), writing Trump a diagnosis for "bone spurs" was a favor to Trump's dad. Not only did his dad give him $413 million in today's dollars, but he gave Trump a ticket out of battle. Money sure does a lot.

A headline to shake you out of the holiday spirit: The holidays are all but over. Knock the sugar plums out of your head, for goodness sakes. Here's the headline: 2 Children Found Buried 2 Years Apart in a Yard. Their Father, a Walmart Santa, Has Been Arrested

Just what is Boxing Day? Besides being a fake holiday only celebrated in Britain and its Commonwealth countries, Boxing Day is December 26th. There. Enjoy your Wednesday, Boxing Day is fake.